Thursday, August 29, 2013

The Prodigal

 
Tonight, during the hour and a half each night between dinner and prayer circle where everyone hangs out outside, I played for a long time with a little boy who is new to the hogar. He is eight years old and has a smile that spreads in a long line across his face, lighting up big brown eyes, a high-pitched, excitable voice and a babyish laugh. He called me over to a corner of the porch to sit on the ground so I could watch him proudly assemble a tiny plastic top. He spun it as fast as he could a few times - "Mira! Mira!" - and then handed it to me to try. He was completely content in that moment, spinning his tiny top or watching me spin it, shrieking when it got too close to the edge of the porch, giggling every time it fell over. I could hardly believe that it was only a few days ago that I had sat with the same boy while he sobbed miserably into a plate of pancakes. 
I was one of the group who went to pick him up from one of the state-run children's homes four days ago. We picked up three new children from the home that day and he had been then one I had gotten to know the least on our trip. In contrast to the other two boys, he had been calm and unimpressed during the ride back to Amigos, half-smiling at times, but mostly quietly looking out the window. I don't remember once seeing the wide smile that has come to define his face for me now.
We arrived to the hogar as everyone does here: to the applause of the entire home gathered at the front gate. All three timidly got out of the car and walked through the crowd where they were introduced to the padrinos and madrinas, the caretakers of the boys and girls who live on-site and are with the children full-time.
I didn't see the littlest boy much that evening or the next day. At dinner in the comedor I made a point to sit with him, but he gave me a cold shoulder. At breakfast and lunch the next day I looked around to find him sitting sullenly, not speaking to the other boys around him. 
Late that afternoon, we, the new volunteers were in the midst of an orientation session when we learned that the boy had run away. It was 4:30 and we learned he had been gone about half an hour. We came out of the session to see search parties assembling. Two of the trucks full of people went out to drive in separate directions and a large group of boys and a few padrinos went out on foot. After night had fallen, the search parties began to return one by one. Staff members assembled a description of the child with photos and dropped them off at local police stations. We had to go to sleep that night not knowing where he was sleeping.
The next day, the whole home was to spend the day at a nearby water-park. Several trips with truck-fulls of kids had to be taken to get everyone there starting at 8 in the morning. I wasn't with the group that found him, but I heard later that it was wild. The whole truck full of children seemed to spot him at the same time and began screaming and pointing. He had been walking towards them down the road; when he spotted them, he darted away and one of the older boys ran after him. When they put him in the car, he was already sobbing.
Amy, our co-director, called me over to the comedor to sit with him while he ate some breakfast. I listened while she told him that he had woried us so much because he is very important to us, because we love him. Waves of sadness poured over the little guy; he didn't know where to put his face. Every time the crying slowed for a bit, a fresh wave seemed to overtake him. He had his little bundle of clothes the hogar had given him in a plastic bag (when he arrived he had nothing with him but the clothes he wore), and he took them all out, refolding them, and putting them away again. He told us he had spent the night in a nearby town, he said, and had been trying to get back to the city to his younger brother. (The younger brother is set to move to Amigos in a few days).
Amy told him that the group was going to a water-park that day and that it would be really fun. Gradually he warmed to the idea. He agreed to leave his bundle at the home and go to the water-park with the last group. While we waited for the truck to arrive, I showed him around the home. We walked up the hill to the big white cross that overlooks the whole campus, and he agreed with me that the view of the mountains was beautiful. We looked at the wide green soccer field with its rows of half-tire "stands." We slid together down Amigos' big tube slide. I realized he hadn't let himself really look around at the home, hadn't let himself begin to like it.
That day at the water-park, I watched a version of this child emerge that I had never seen before as he shrieked and played and acted like the little kid he is, instead of like a mini-adult alone in the world. Since he's been at the hogar I've loved watching him run and play with the other boys and eat good meals with that big smile on his face. That's how his face is supposed to look.

As I begin to understand a little more how important Amigos is and what it does for these kids, this little guy will always come to the forefront of my mind. He always runs up to me now at meals or out on the field after dinner, and I look for him, too. The relationships built with the kids here are what everyone says make it so special. I've got a few I'm working on, but I know this one will always be very special to me. Because he was lost, and I watched him be found.
 
 

 Joanna Gardner
Volunteer 2013-2014
 
 
 
 

Saturday, August 17, 2013

Fútbol at the Hogar


Some days evenings arrive unexpectedly, and I walk out of the comedor after dinner and resignedly tie on my cleats after half-hearted appeals from the boys for futbol.  At times we can almost be indifferent to soccer’s inevitability. 

Other times the beautiful game brings an irresistible energy, and entire days seem to revolve around futbol.  Anticipation lasts from breakfast until the hour arrive.  Tengo rigio are the watchwords, echoed throughout the hogar, difficult to translate precisely but roughly expressing a physical yearning for soccer.  Legs feel agitated.  Feet grow restless.  The goals will fly thick and the tackles will be bruising.  On these days all eyes are waiting for sunset.  At Amigos, (our) real futbol is played in the evenings.

 
 
 In small groups we wander onto the soccer field, pale lights illuminating the grass from goal to goal.  Those moments before we play—spent stretching or shooting on goal, or trash-talking—are full of promise.  Each one of us has in our mind a brilliant golazo, a stellar performance recognized by the group.  A lot of respect is earned (and lost) on the soccer field. 
 

We straggle into different teams and wait restlessly.  We’re not yet in full futbol-mode.  Somebody grabs the ball and punts it into the air.  Before it even hits the ground the transition has taken place.  We’re living in the moment, a different state of consciousness where our lives away from that field might as well be a million miles away.  Maybe I exaggerate.  But what is true is that your mind doesn’t work the same way when the ball is at your feet.  Instinct and adrenaline replace words and thought.  The day and all its challenges and troubles slip away, a blessed relief from the stresses of everyday life, for both the boys and me.  Even though soccer can be a time when we channel aggression, we find some measure of peace and belonging on the field.  That’s part of why futbol is so important to the boys here.
 
Love for the game goes deep.  Interest in soccer varies amongst the kids; some rarely or never play and others don’t let a day pass without a session.  But everyone here recognizes soccer as the primary sport, not just of our home but for all of Honduras.  Nationalism and soccer are intricately tied in this country, and that affects the children living at Amigos.  A world-cup qualifier brings excitement, apprehension.  The sports sections of newspapers are devoured.  The quality of certain players is vigorously debated.  And when game-time arrives, the children of Amigos huddle around radios or televisions and join the millions of other Hondurans cheering and groaning throughout those 90 minutes.  A goal scored for Honduras unleashes chaotic bliss.  We jump out of chairs, screaming, arms extended to the ceiling.  The younger children, often unaware of what’s going on, join in the shouting and hugging, scrambling to involve themselves in the celebration.  Moments of disorderly, wonderful happiness. 
 
Soccer is part of Amigos de Jesus.  There’s a rhythm and fluidity to life here that futbol expresses so well.  The soccer field is a canvas on which the kids channel their creativity and imagination.  And it’s a joy to share their passion. 
 
Joseph Starzl
Amigos de Jesus Volunteer 2012
BECA Administrator 2013